and so it has sunken in. my eyes are sore from the constant onrush of emotion from the loss of my grandmother. my second mother. my constant guardian.

it's not so much her words that i remember, but little vignettes of feeling, parcels of images of her when she was younger and i was still studying the four cities of metro manila. her clothes, her hands, the way she signed her name on my return slips and excuse letters. her smile. the way she sniffed when she kissed me. i would miss that the most. i would miss how she invited my bullies for lunch -- and how they'd eventually become my best friends.

i would miss all the things is to me.

i miss you Ma. i love you very much.