Starry nights of screams, peace signs, and selfies
Hello blog my old friend, I've come to talk with you again. :)
Thankfully, I'm kept busy by work, work trips, and new friends. Been doing well with trying to balance my schedule, a few ups and downs that are minor, but more or less smooth-sailing. Since the start of the year, I've decided to be more active in pursuing possible relationships. Still having a hard time with those tricky apps and how to get through the creamy filling with only a few bites, my need to dig deep and sort out the good guys from the bad apples.
And maybe that's the issue now that's keeping me awake ... perhaps I don't need to keep digging. If I can just let go of my physical anxieties then maybe it would be easier for me to dig-in without the guilt. Like yesterday, I came to realize one of my easy triggers -- losing friends, especially the ones I've been emotionally invested in. We've only met recently but we've hung out a lot and even went to acupuncture treatment together (LOL!). From the get-go it was clear to me that we were to be transient friends, you know, the ones that you meet and click with instantly but you know you're only there at that moment in time because you both shared an experience or you both had issues that each was able to address. Kinda like having officemates that come and go when you leave your job and move on.
So I would say we've become quite close, my friend needed someone to talk to at night about his family, work, and personal life, as was I. We've had a few fights towards the end until finally, after a 40-day abstinence, I found out my friend would be leaving.
The truth is I was annoyed. I reexamined my feelings and realized how I hate losing people who mean something to me, and to lose them feeling like they abandoned me. (Let's not get into abandonment issues anymore because we've covered that in the numerous posts already. LOL!)
And so I need to keep going (consequently my new motto for everything that sucks in my life) and continue looking for new friends. I need to keep going with my workouts, my dieting. I need to keep focusing on work and not use company resources to write blog posts on epiphanies.
Till then, I would stare at the starry sky at night, with all that noisy construction going on below. They toil all day and night, they inspire me to keep going. They show me piece by piece, how a flat piece of land could be carved like a huge crater, filled up with wires and cement... and in a few months ... BOOM! ... a luxury condominium.
I have to look straight ahead and watch the signs, take more selfies for those apps, just keep going and play the game.