Crane-bow

Crane-bow:  The pot of gold needs a lift.

Lately I noticed I've been avoiding meeting up with people.  It's strange but it's as if I felt more confident about myself when I was several pounds heavier than I am now.  I still feel fat even if I know I shouldn't.  I guess it's because the past few people I've met up with weren't satisfactory, which subsequently made me feel I need to be pickier somehow.

Aside from my phone apps, I have 2 separate accounts online via the same website, and it's remarkable how even if both profiles are online, people don't notice it's the same person!  Of course I don't use the same photos, but still!

Anyway, I think I might have become a little too picky lately.  I text a handful of people, the typical hi's and hello's and what's up's ... among those, I met up with this guy who I'd been texting with for a while and he kinda caught me during vulnerable, needy moments.  He's a fine arts graduate from Diliman, mid 20's, and teaches at PLM.  He's been with his partner for 2 years and is thinking of breaking it off.  He had so many issues and had been so indecisive.

So one night we met up at MiniStop at P. Noval where we talked, mostly about what friends talk about.  The first thing he told me was that I don't look my age, and he was already under the false impression that I was 25 years old.  Of course I was flattered and wanted to jump his bones right away, not minding that he had buck teeth, was very skinny, and dressed like a true UP student -- faded jeans, black chino top, and slippers.  I wanted to jump his bones because I wanted to get this long and winding foreplay over and done with.  I mean come on!  It's been more than 2 weeks of playing cat and mouse.  If he wanted to have an extra-marital affair, I was already serving a platter of side salad.  But alas, he was indecisive.  And so after that night, I already knew nothing would cum out of it.

Moving forward, I'm beginning to notice the valentine's fever slowly creeping in with most of the people I communicate with.  Around 3 or 4 seem to be looking for serious relationships despite the fact that I don't post those on my profile and I tell them upfront that I am not looking for anything serious yet.  But I play along anyway.  I don't text sweet nothings, mind you.  I would never intentionally lead people on, but I guess my crime is that I entertain their attention.

All I can say is, life will be so much easier once I have my own place.  It's not right to waste these blessings.