We Go Live

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This is weird. I kinda promised myself that I will never talk about work in my blog and I will try to be less self-absored as a means of dispelling the negative thoughts. But the truth is, my new job is taking most of my time nowadays. There's no time to dwell on problems, on personal issues, on that crazy little thing called love, not even enough time to spend a good night with friends like in the past half year. And so, if I'm not able to be self-absored in my emotional junkiness or to be able to write about my occupation, what have I left to write about??? Without emotion, I am not as eloquent, not as driven as I usually am. I want to write but the words just don't come out the way I want.

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Writer's block? Perhaps.

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On the upside, I'm happy as a birthday celebrant. Still impatient like I've always been but with an even temperament which helps get me through the day(s). This is what I need -- the real thing.

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Not so much as rant as of realization: I have two.

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Realization numero une -- The world revolves around laws. These govern the essential processes that keep everything in balance. It would be difficult to break these rules, consequences are often dramatic.

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In other words :: Although I have some qualms about my new job, being at the lowest level of the food chain (in a dog eat dog world), I feel the only way to survive would be to adhere to ALL the company policies, to embrace them even. If I wanna win, I have to play it straight. No more delinquency, no more excuses.

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Realization numero deux -- My parents are growing old. Being in their mid-50's, they've become more sickly. M' Mum's had high blood pressure during the holidays and m' Dad's coughing his unhealthy lungs out due to smoking. One time while I was listening to one of my favorite lounge cds, I saw him, thru the haze of Winston Red's smoke hovering over the dining table under the ambient yellow brightness of the chandelier.

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In other words :: It is my turn to be responsible. They've done their part raising me up and sending me to excellent schooling, I have to think of my own survival now and the ways in which I want to achieve my goals. It is my turn to make them proud, my turn to take care of them should the immediate need arise.

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It is time to put an end to the self-absorbedness for the meantime and think of others for a change. I've fixed my life a bit for now, it's time to help those who are fixing theirs.

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And about my job, my batchmates and I already passed the finals and practicals, now's the time to apply our knowledge into the real game. After this weekend, the close of product-specific training, we go live.

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