The Weight
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And so it is just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me, most of the time.
And so it is shorter story
no love, no glory, no hero in her sky
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-- The Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice
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Once again I am agitated. Once again I am back in this story of waiting, the weight of patience fast becoming a burden. The uncertainty, the vagueness, the “where will this all lead to?” question assuming itself on the borders.
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In a brief moment, I had let my guard down and opened up, my vulnerability breaking up into many volatile pieces – updated profiles, eloquent testimonials, black and white photos, the need for a connection ... and people who actually read them. What a difference a few hours makes, the absence of a response more cruel than the unsmiling gods. And I think how far I’ve come, how everything else in my life is slowly falling into place.
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…life goes easy on me, most of the time …
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I’ve always been patient with people, those that I like, even those that I don’t. There’s always the benefit of a doubt an encounter would lead to friendship and a friendship would lead to wisdom. My best friend keeps commending me for my emotional fortitude. How come I can’t give myself the same benefit? Wouldn’t that wisdom hold more weight for me than waiting?
.
.
.
I need some distraction, a beautiful release
and memories seep from my veins.
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I’d find some peace tonight.
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-- Angel by Sarah McLachlan
.
.
.
life goes easy on me, most of the time.
And so it is shorter story
no love, no glory, no hero in her sky
.
-- The Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice
.
.
.
Once again I am agitated. Once again I am back in this story of waiting, the weight of patience fast becoming a burden. The uncertainty, the vagueness, the “where will this all lead to?” question assuming itself on the borders.
.
In a brief moment, I had let my guard down and opened up, my vulnerability breaking up into many volatile pieces – updated profiles, eloquent testimonials, black and white photos, the need for a connection ... and people who actually read them. What a difference a few hours makes, the absence of a response more cruel than the unsmiling gods. And I think how far I’ve come, how everything else in my life is slowly falling into place.
.
.
…life goes easy on me, most of the time …
.
.
I’ve always been patient with people, those that I like, even those that I don’t. There’s always the benefit of a doubt an encounter would lead to friendship and a friendship would lead to wisdom. My best friend keeps commending me for my emotional fortitude. How come I can’t give myself the same benefit? Wouldn’t that wisdom hold more weight for me than waiting?
.
.
.
I need some distraction, a beautiful release
and memories seep from my veins.
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I’d find some peace tonight.
.
-- Angel by Sarah McLachlan
.
.
.
How much longer do I have to keep staving off the weight?
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.
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ennui wrote the 1st faint line @ 7/07/2005 05:30:00 AM
5 Truths:
.for as long as it takes. with the right attitude, we can all pass the "test".
until your collarbones show. and i think they already do. and you have YET to answer my interview questions.
you look too good for this kind of rant.
anomalous, really.
Sometimes waiting truly is the hardest part...and yes dude, sometimes even if you know you are pretty much in cruise control, doubt creeps in and somehow what you know and what you feel unfortunately become two different things, but I believe this too shall pass... as always
Maybe you wait because the possibilities are just too good to pass up.
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