Two Men

I have never met these two men in person.  They are not partners, they are not friends.  They don't even know each other, but both of them have been the subject of disturbance the past couple of days.

Man 1:  I was searching through profiles, amusing myself with the depreciating quality of information posted online.  It used to be that a face photo is a must.  If you did not have one, a catchy profile would help, considering that not all people had access to the internet a few years back.  If you had a good body, it would be assumed that you had not the face to launch a thousand orgasms.

If you had all three, well then you were probably the one with the most active nights.

So back to Man 1.  I used to see him on a famous phone app before but haven't seen him online in a while.  It was a surprise to see him again last night through his profile.  I read all his status updates, saw a few of his photos, and wondered why he hadn't posted in almost a year.  He was quite open about his life and was even a guest chef on TV.  He was very articulate, a bit haughty, but refreshingly unapologetic.  Since he said he was on a famous photo sharing app, I was curious to see the reason for his silence, if he's gone working in a foreign land, if he'd already found a partner, etc. etc.

The last photo I saw of him he put on a brave smile, waving his hand to where the dextrose had been inserted.  I read through the comments, showing they were posted some 72 weeks ago, of his friends wishing him a speedy recover.  One of them prayed that he would wake up.  The next one calmly invited the readers to visit him to pay their final respects.

Man 2:  This guy was the first to approach me on another app perhaps more than a year ago I can't recall.  We've been chat friends ever since but we never really got to meet each other in person.  Only recently that we became friends on Facebook, and only last month when we started talking on the phone.  No, I was never really attracted to him, and yes he was already taken.  The real reason we became close was because like me, he also suffered a breakdown a year or so ago.  His was worse and he was urged to seek professional treatment and has been taking meds.

He is a very chatty individual, chattier on the phone actually.  We've talked about almost everything, even confidential family stuff.  But as I type this I can't circumvent the negative emotions he left me with when all of a sudden tonight he got pissed off over a small comment I said about someone he doesn't even care about.  He said goodbye twice and then proceeded to unfriend me.

I'm not lamenting the fact that we're not friends anymore.  In fact, I say good riddance to all the moody people I've had to be patient with in my lifetime!  I just find it sad that however easily I gained friendships, how easily those friendships have withered away in batches.  Just last month I lost 3.

So anyway, I understand he is really fragile and know that I somehow must've triggered something.  I had observed that since he started going back to school, he's shown extreme highs and lows.  On the phone he's quite manic but during chat he's always distracted and irritable.

I just need to vent this out because I'm obsessing over the bad vibe he's left me with.  I genuinely wish him well.

Part of me expects him to realize how silly this all is and that he will eventually come to his senses and apologize.  But part of me knows he will never do that.  And to be honest, I don't think I would be able to handle his moodiness anymore.


I just thank the stars for that brief moment I got to know him, and that he was instrumental in helping me see things clearly during the times when I would be buried in my own pessimissm.  I can only hope that somehow I was able to help him through tough times too.