Trend of Thought Today

For the past few days, I've felt like my cerebrum's been running around the metropolis, my body abandoned somewhere at home, smoking, talking, walking around. It's like it never needed anything physical to hold itself back; a mental competition that leaves me absolutely exhausted just trying to catch up. I do sometimes, but with its convoluted nature, my brain's too unpredictable even for my astrological Aquarian complexes. It's like trying to grab the air we breathe, the aura we exude, the thoughts that run away every now and then. My thoughts elope with the idea that there is nothing constant in this world, an accord with my ruling planet Uranus, to which I steadfastly hang on to keeping my overall emotional stability, thanks to the conservativism of my second ruling planet, Saturn. Hence, with much milling about, I've concluded, and with some accuracy, the cosmic reason for my being a walking contradiction.

Since I cannot grasp the air I breathe, I drag on a multitude of Winston lights. It gives me comfort to perceive that the air coming out of my lungs is mine and I can hold it back for as long as I can without the fear of asphyxiation, at least not today. This I do until the last ember dies on the last inch of the last stick, all's okay with the world the way I see it from outside my open screen window -- a beige wall decorated with droppings from our national bird.

Then, with the radio tuned in to 89.9, I realize it's Friday Magic Madness. Another day of reminiscing through the years of my childhood I miss so much. The karate classes, the swimming classes, biking around a Fairview subdivision, wearing my favorite Swatch to school, my overused Colours black shoes, the Xavier School football field I spend pensive afternoons in, the tasty Beef Stroganoff sold at 15 bucks per plate, getting rowdy in the school bus, hiding in the toilet during the Christmas party for something I did (or wrote), walking from school to Robinson's Galleria just to watch Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, buying blank cassette tapes to record new wave songs over the radio, checking out unique stuff in Gift Gate and Regina's in Greenhills, throwing stones at the village bully, scourging the toad hiding under the car, playing Street Fighter at a neighbor's, bathing in a plastic pool, staying up all night playing majong, setting out the orange tent on the lawn for us kids, drinking a cool glass of Bear Brand milk before going to bed, exchanging horror stories with my cousins till we fall asleep, waking up early morning for a cup of coffee with my doctor aunt, the sun creeping in through the windows and over the carpets, another day to feel alive.

Those were the days.

These days, it's all about the promise of greatness, the possibilities of party weekends after work, wishing Deux Ex Machina for a hopelessly deterministic Hume-an, the longing for co-dependence and travel opportunities, toiling like forever to keep the dreams alive.

It's not so bad really. We all need to be inspired.