Thorned Roses

"this is the narrative of everyone's life. That behind the phenomenal differences, there is but one story, and that's the story of moving from No to Yes. All of life is like, "No thank you, no thank you, no thank you," then ultimately it's, "Yes, I give in, yes, I accept, yes, I embrace." That's the journey. Everyone gets to Yes in the end, right?"

-- Waking Life by Richard Linklater



True to form, at the onset of getting a regular job, I found myself frantically doing something else the night before the interview, something I deemed more essential for my waning pragmatism. It wasn't so much that I didn't want to grab the hand of opportunity, but rather, I wanted the answers to an age-old question of money vs. career opportunities. Wanting to immediately find the answers to my new question, I tried checking the internet for wisdom.

It's difficult to go into specific details right now, that with the pros and cons of my options, to be honest, make me more inclined to choose the path with far greater monetary rewards for the sake of necessity. The work itself is very much routine and clerical, Saturdays and Sundays are guaranteed off, and there's that potential to meet new people my age or younger. The comfort zone, if I can call it that.

On the other hand, the less popular choice would break new grounds for me and can potentially open the doors for what I'm destined to do. The pay sucks, the office sucks (according to my friend), but the people I'll be meeting with could be potential contacts. It's a very young company dreaming of outdoing the classier competition with possibly a cliché overworked-underpaid subsistence. Ideally, at the end of it all, if indeed I last more than a year or so, I'll be rich in experience (and debts.) Yet despite this, I'm pretty sure this path that's strewn with thorned roses is the better of the two for the longterm.

If I were in my college mindset right now, I would've tossed a coin and let fate decide for me. However, even if I believe it would be easier to follow the dime's heads or tails prophecy, I felt it'll do me more good to decide for myself. I'd have to enjoy the process of deciding. It'll teach me to be accountable for the consequences of my choice. After all, accountability in itself can be considered a self-empowering exercise.

My very close and dependable friend Ninjato is also undergoing the same dilemma so we decided to team up and beat our brains out with existential discourse. It was a very long and stimulating conversation over coffee and smokes (lots of it), where we dissected each other's mindful catharses like crayfish. There were many other things we talked about that we've never talked about before, spanning the years like it was only yesterday that we were ostracized in high school, then now we were already planning a trip (a CD trip) to HongKong if we end up in the lucrative nook of the comfort zone. Haaayyy ... the possibilities.


Though the experiences may vary significantly, don't we all end up where we're supposed to anyway?