Learning Curves

"I'll say it once, I'll say it twice ... I LOVE my damask wall paper!"

Looking back, there were many things I would change if I had the chance: I would've asked for a bigger allowance. I would've spent more thought on my college application. I would've chosen another college. I would NOT have started out in the customer service industry. However, looking back, I was so immature in many ways that even if I appeared to my younger, more rebellious self, I would not have changed anything. So, there would really be no other option but to not regret the regrettable, and to take everything as it comes, take it like a man (whatever that means anyway. Pfft!) Maybe by learning to let go, I would be set free from my obsessive envy. Maybe, by learning curves, I would be lead directly to my goals -- a plus-size paycheck or a fatty deposit account in a Suisse bank.

I'd like to think the path to my success is straight, that everything would be linear: a promise made would be a promise kept, a credit card bill would be paid in full. But of course, I'd be disappointed that life, for me, isn't so; and perhaps it would be better that way because the path I want is the exception: the bend on a straight path, the pleasant drop-off before the next house-hop, the requisite detour after a funeral.

I'm like a scallop taken out of its shell. A car with missing spare parts. I want to be so many things, I don't know where to start. Maybe my starter has a problem. Maybe I need a tune up.