Hogs

Hogging the Sheets

Apparently they come in all shapes and sizes. Some hogs are blatant and they advertise their lack of etiquette, which is fine because it's easier to ignore them and you can choose other plumper hogs who won't give you attitude.  Other hogs seem cuddly by the look of their photos; their smiles or furtive glances on their selfies make them appear innocuous.  A few hogs pretend to be wounded and looking for stable partners, but they are often too young and the choice to be slaughtered and roasted with aromatic spices.

But the worst of all hogs is the hog that pretends to walk on two legs.  They pretend to chase don't give out any information about themselves.  They can lie through their teeth, if only to avoid being stuffed with that red, delicious apple.  They snuggle and smile, they smirk and oink;  they'll follow you around and sniff your pockets and even your vulnerability.  They know you will eat them but they won't eat you back.  They say you must be punished for walking on fours, and they force you to feed on their trash.  They sleep, they hog the sheets, they feel so at home naked and take everything they can get.  No, they don't ask for money because they have jobs and have their own place, but they will ask you for dinner and perhaps even breakfast.  They will roast you if you don't know how to spear them first and throw them in the open fire.  

Those aren't hogs ... they're fucking asses.