Saying YES

"I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
..... I won't worry my life away."

-- The Remedy by Jason Mraz

I used to be a YES person surrounded by NO people. After a year or two, my own personal YESness turned to MAYBE, and then to a resounding NO. I still am surrounded by NO people and I still make decisions thus resounding, however now, I refuse to be trapped in a box prepared by their benevolence. I'm finally coming into my own senses and doing stuff I've never done in a while ... trying to be responsible for my own actions, trying to be accountable for all the consequences of what I do.

Like Neruda mentioned in his poem, fear is also a strength. I believe it is if we are able to channel out the negativistic perception of fear into something constructive. My fear had strangled me before to the point of anhedonia, I figure if I was able to convince myself that I was nothing, certainly I can do the exact opposite and start believing once more that I am someone to reckon with.

So today, with the help of my great and positive friend Risso, I said YES to the company, to the same person, who gave me an opportunity to prove myself. Maybe she'd be the Indian woman to reacquaint me with good karma in the coming days.

Saying YES, I find, is more difficult because it usually requires action. Saying no, on the other hand, usually requires a solid back-up plan.

Life happens when you're not planning.