mardi, mars 01, 2005

2 Short Stories

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I visited my grandmother last Sunday afternoon. I was not at all prepared to deal with what I saw. After so many skin tests, allergy tests, antibiotics, bed sores, injections, intravenous supplements, a stoma (when they punch a hole on your stomach and attach a food tube to it), and on that day I visited, a rectal exam, my grandmother was not herself anymore. She had become this traumatized shell of the loving matriarch that she once was. I could never forget the look on her face that afternoon, the way her eyes blankly stared into impossible salvation, the way she moaned in sheer horror like a tortured victim of physical abuse. I couldn't even touch her because any slight movement triggered her fear like clockwork.
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She isn't my grandmother anymore. My relatives were cleaning up her naked body. I sat near the foot of her bed, grabbed a pillow ...
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... and wept.
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I met up with Meal on a Monday night. I felt I needed to take a final serving and clarify where this can all lead to. We ate at Cafe Bola for dinner and started the conversation right away. Like the last time, we both weren't able to finish our meal. I always knew Meal would be staying in Cebu for the next 4 months. So many stories, too many questions, a lot left unanswered. I was tried to mince through the peculiar flavor in my tomato penne. It was a delicious serving, yet somehow, I had this recurring feeling. I felt that it wouldn't be the last I'll be mincing through aniseed in my meals.
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We paid the bill then left . I walked Meal toward the bus stop, then I went toward mine on an opposite street. I wore my glasses the entire time.
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10 Truths:

Blogger ninjatoin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

Dude, I'm so sorry...maybe it's just temporary, being in the hospital like that at that age is very traumatic...am still praying for her...if you need someone to talk to, you know the number...

mardi, mars 01, 2005 9:29:00 PM  
Blogger Aleksuin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

Ennui:

1. I'm so sorry about what your grandma is going through. My best wishes to her, you and your family, I know is hard.

2. You need to take them glasses off, look her straight to the eye, and kiss Meal.

Or you will regret it even more in 4 months.

mercredi, mars 02, 2005 12:49:00 AM  
Blogger {illyria}in a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

i just want you to know i'm here for you. we can share the silence, like all those years ago.

mercredi, mars 02, 2005 1:29:00 PM  
Blogger paningitin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

don't know what to say, man. sorry.

jeudi, mars 03, 2005 9:57:00 AM  
Blogger EGO SVM CAROLVSin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

Just wanted to share that your grandmother will be in my thoughts today, and that she is lucky to have family who care for her so much.

jeudi, mars 03, 2005 12:46:00 PM  
Blogger ennuiin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

My relatives say my grams is ok now and ready to go home. I sure admire her resilience. Ü

Ninjato - We're meeting up tom right?

Blex - 1. It is hard. She holds together such a huge clan, it must be overwhelming to even feel helpless.

2. I wanted to but I never had the opportunity. I wanted to meet Meal one last time but was too busy preparing for the trip. Oh well ... :-
transience - silence would be wonderful but I'm afraid I might go crazy keeping it all in

paningit - that's ok, i am at a loss for words myself

CAROLVS - thank you, it means a lot.

jeudi, mars 03, 2005 8:22:00 PM  
Blogger ninjatoin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

yep just text me where and what time so I can head out early...

jeudi, mars 03, 2005 8:54:00 PM  
Blogger ennuiin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

jax - 1. this happened to my other grandmother too. they called us in during her last few moments. i watched her heart rate change erratically until it just flat-lined. twas weird because we weren't close to her.

2. i know, i know. a damned fool. i keep waiting for the right moments. i promise i'll do better next time Ü

regarding transience - yeah, she's what the world needs right now. am i right trans? ;)

samedi, mars 05, 2005 2:24:00 PM  
Blogger Stanin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

Hi Ennui, It's not fair what life does to people as they get older. It weakens them continually, and then when they get totaly helpless it hits them with everything.

dimanche, mars 06, 2005 1:41:00 AM  
Blogger ennuiin a hightened sense of self mumbled ...

Jax - You're right. There is never really the RIGHT moment ... only in retrospect. I guess during the time we were talking, every moment would've been RIGHT. Oh well, at least we still communicate with each other long distance. I say I should still keep my glasses on Ü

Stan - Thanks for dropping by. True, old age is when your body just gives up.

lundi, mars 07, 2005 12:15:00 AM  

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