Forewarned

. . . It has been rather weird since the full moon on the 13th of Friday and I must say the residual effects of its afterglow still linger to haunt the dazed. . I did a bad thing by overanalyzing my situation with Toper and worrying how I don't have anything concrete to call how we are or what we share, I badgered him with a few confrontational messages and wanted a reply or at least some comfort in knowing that if we choose to let go, it wouldn't hurt as much. I don't know why I had to ruin our meeting the next day but somehow, I'm kinda glad it happened -- my neurotic ways -- because I got it out of my system and I at least got an honest and concrete answer from him. It was our 7th meeting yesterday and although things are still blurry as where things are going, I've been taking advice from people to just enjoy the moment and appreciate what I have than worry about what I don't. I just find it difficult to do because I definitely enjoy the simple things, but when it comes to dealing with emotions and the need to be serious in certain situations, I need to know what I invest in won't be put to waste. That's just how I am, I can't enjoy something if I know it won't amount to anything enjoyable in the end. Weird ... All I can say is, I'm in no shape to handle any personal tragedies right now. I don't know how I'll take it and what kind of drastic changes I'll be going through in my life again. . Today I learned that my dear friends in another department had been laid off from work. What I hear is that it's because of the new management under Verizon and they're cutting down on redundancy. It's just unfair how they were only told yesterday and just like that, they were asked to pack their bags and go home at that moment. Talk about job security ... . Which got me thinking about my own job. I woke up late today and had to apply for a halfday sick leave because I wanted to save up on my sick leaves. I totally FORGOT that today's a critical work day since it's payday Friday yesterday and we're prohibited from being absent on the Sat-Sun-Mon following. So there, in the coming days I shall be getting my first Focus Alert for being absent on a critical workday, this on my employment anniversary and just 10 days shy of my 27th birthday. . The truth is, after a fun weekend, I've been brought back to reality so abruptly and the need to be more focused. While reviewing my current status on the job, I discovered that after being absent for half a day last week, I only have just half a day sick leave credit available today. Had I chose not to go to work the whole day, I would've gotten myself 2 Focus Alerts instead of just 1, and that would bring me a step closer to termination! . So there ... a fair warning for me. Try to enjoy what I have even if I perceive it to be pointless, yet be cautious that my point of view won't stray too far from the ground (or look into myself too deeply). . . .