Under the Knife

"You walked all over, in your blunderstones.
In your own road movie with your one-armed man.
Gonna make it to the problem page, troubleshoot your life.
I hope you find yourself."

-- Low Place Like Home by Sneaker Pimps


Feast of the Immaculate Conception. It was like any regular day of mine where I spend the evenings after dinner going to Malik's computer shop for a few smokes and then through my daily 1hr ambulation. I was right on schedule like always when I check my watch before entering the curb as this marks the start of the "2nd lap." The street parallel to our house, called Andalucia, has a 4-ft tall division in between that separated the northbound and southbound vehicles. I usually walk in the middle, right beside the island because I always felt safer under the lights than near the shadowy sidewalks. I would walk toward the end of the division, make a complete U-turn and walk my way through to the finish line a little over 40 minutes later. I try to do this everyday when I can.

Last night though was different. Somewhere at the 38th minute of my walk when I entered the curb, I saw this teenager jump over the island from the other side of the street. It got me curious how he did it because I don't think I would've been able to, the wall was definitely high. My curiosity would kill me if I let it.

Suddenly, THIS jolog with a cap took out a kitchen knife and grabbed my left wrist. He told me not to run because he'd stab me for sure. He pulled me across the road toward the sidewalk where I saw 2 other companions run from the shadows. I got nervous of course, but I didn't fear getting hurt or getting stabbed. One of them took my watch, the other checked my pockets out. The squatter holding the knife lifted my shirt and put half his hand inside my shorts. He groped hoping to find something there. I wasn't happy to see them but I must've given out the wrong signal.

I heard one of the three tenors comment, "Wala namang dala yan eh." He doesn't have anything on him. It was true. I had P105.50 in my pocket (which they didn't take) in case of emergency. I didn't bring my mobile phone because I never do (which I think was what they were really looking for inside my crotch.) I wasn't even able to bring a handkerchief. The only precious thing I had with me was my old automatic Circa watch given to me by my Dad back in college. The glass was broken already so I don't think they'd be able to sell it for anything. It's funny how I kept thinking all day how I'd readjust the bracelet because it's become loose. I guess they'll be doing that for me now.

Anyway, when the three stooges left, I went on my way toward the other direction. Someone saw what had happend, but we both pretended it never did. I continued my walk and crossed the finish line within the alotted hour. Like clockwork. It was strange because despite the slight paranoia, I felt compelled to get through the routine even if I had to take another route. I figure I needed it to sort out what just happened and to try to make sense out of it. I mean, I got what everyone knew was coming, I got what everyone warned me about. It wasn't pleasant and it's true I'm lucky to be unscathed, but the fact that I experienced it firsthand, makes all the difference to me. The only matter I'm wary about is that it happened so close to home. Literally a block away.

I tried to appease my paranoia by listening to Sneaker Pimps' Becoming X album. I figured a little triphop would do me good. It had at the start but I found myself switching to Lit, then to KoRn, and then to Marilyn Manson.

I always thought I'd have some use for the Antichrist Superstar album.