Parallel Universe

"My best friend told me to believe and to never give up on hope. It's the only power we have left, he said, and don't let them take it away from us."

-- taken from another blog (without permission Ü)


"when i woke up this morning, i didn't know how to wake up. i mean, it was like i was in some parallel universe -- everything looked the same and everything was just the way it should have been but somehow, it just wasn't. the thing is that when i finally realized what was amiss with myself, i felt really sad. i thought that if maybe, i had come to terms with what i wasn't seeing, then maybe i would be happier and more content"

-- another excerpt from another friend (with consent Ü)


THe truth is I don't know where to start writing. I find myself losing fluency again, yet typing at the speed of thought. THe truth is, this is exactly what I feared. This is exactly what I knew was gonna happen to me. And I risked it anyway because I didn't want to be afraid. I risked it anyway because I made myself believe I'd be better off knowing something than not knowing it at all. And thinking about it, maybe I lost ... for now, but I had gained a lot during the days that I was being beaten up by existence. I was given the drive to change and I've been skillful at handling it. Thinking about it again, I feel I got the better deal from what I prayed for, and that keeps me hopeful that in the coming days, maybe another window would open and I'd be able to use what I had learned for new challenges. It is all very hopeful, but for now, I lost and I consider myself grieving well.


"... let someone hold you once in a while -- you're not going to break."


I haven't yet and I feel I already have.