Purchasing Power
"But when you feel so powerless
what are you gonna do?
But say what you want
Say what you want"
-- Powerless by Nelly Furtado
And with one afternoon, I lost all control over penny-pinching I had promised myself till I get a regular job. Roaming thru the shops on a 3-day sale is an unecessary evil eagerly celebrated by the working class. In need of new pants that fit well, I told myself I'd only buy a pair of jeans and a pair of black pants. To my vainglorious horror, I left the building with 5 pairs, all neatly tucked inside the Paris Hilton cardboard bag. And the lowest of lows, I found myself buying a rare Deee-Lite cd called "Dewdrops In The Garden," with the song "Somebody" that I desperately tried to download a month ago but to no avail. It was imported and in good condition for regular price! I didn't feel so bad buying it, but totaling all the expenses had left me cursing the bejesus that is underemployment.
Next challenge to my purchasing power: a new G-Protection cd player with AM/FM radio tuner or mp3 capability. The 5-year old Sony ESP2 discman I have is nearing its death. I'd love to get an iPod mini, except that I don't want to use up my dollar reserves over something that can be snitched if and when I ride public transport. I'd also love a new pair of shiny, black square-toe leather shoes with thick soles. I can't believe I've gone this far without any dressy black shoes!
*Sigh*
Just thinking about all the things I'd love to have gave me a headache while waiting for my sister who was trying on long gowns for a business function this week. Impatience gets to me when I'm bored, yet I'm resolutely assuaging myself of the feeling of powerlessness. I dream big because I know I have the capacity to achieve. Sometimes it is the greatest challenge to start from scratch.
My horoscope for today seems to agree:
Some people see things as they are. You're busy dreaming things that never were but possibly (or impossibly) could be. Keep that imagination fueled. Allow input from everyone, even people you don't agree with.
ennui wrote the 1st faint line @ 10/17/2004 11:38:00 PM
4 Truths:
aha! that's why you weren't replying. you were busy shopping! i would have so wanted to go with you. was that the thing you were inviting me out for? i'm so sad. my mouth is frothing. must be the coffee. argghh.
Ha! And I thought I was the only one with recent money problems...Where did you buy the Dee-lite CD? Mega? I know I shouldn't ask (as I've already bought too much) but was just curious hehehe
My friend has this """theory""" that shopping is to some people an escape mechanism from an often unpleasant reality. Much like comfort food. Nonsense, I say. She just wants to make me feel bad about it. Which makes me want to shop (more).
To Carolvs - I think it only becomes escapist when you start to believe it is. Otherwise, it should be a healthy habit! Ü
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