Periods and Paroxysms

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I have been very busy the past few days. In fact, it's been a whole month since my last entry and although I've come to be online everynow and then, I never felt the urge nor the focus to zone in to writing even just a unremarkable piece about the remarkable events that have been happening in my life right now. However, just as I begin writing this as if it would become longwinded and satisfactorily thorough, I am reminded once more that my priorities have already changed and that wherever this takes me, I'd like to coerce myself to sit back and enjoy the ride.

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How and where do I start? Seems to always be the challenge for me ...

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After exactly two months of going on meaningful dates every Friday or Saturday night, we've finally decided to formalize our friendship into a relationship last February 19. For the most part, I don't exactly know how to describe what I feel at the moment. It's not an ecstatic high that I've first thought I'd experience. I mean, it's not like I got engaged or anything. It was very quiet, very mature. We just thought it was time.

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We've had a couple of disagreements, the second one kinda got me scared because I felt I was ruining everything by being paranoid and overanalytical. I thought at first it was a seasonal thing. That the full moon was out to sabotage me. I thought it was the longing, of not being able to meet up more often than once a week due to our weird schedules. But then I realized how my worries were caused by fear. Perhaps I didn't want to admit that I'm slowly falling for this person. That I'm entering a new territory ... that of reciprocated affection.

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Is this what love is? How come it's not mushy or nauseatingly cheesy like I expected?

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I guess I'm always different. We entered into a relationship without having said "I love you," perhaps secure (or reckless) enough to think we would follow through.

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It's only five days to go before our third month together, a whole month since we confirmed our commitment, and I can finally sleep with a smile because I know someone out there is thinking about me in the same way.

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