Falling or Fallen?

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It's barely 2 months and the same issues still come up every now and then. I do admit I've been very moody lately. It's like I have an irregular ovulation cycle where I can't quite assume when to bring a tampon or not. But just this week, I realized exactly what brings about my mood swings. Contentment, or the lack thereof.

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Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for everything I have right now. It's just that, like say with work, my gratitude is slowly wearing out its welcome. It's getting more routine everyday and my brain tries to compensate for the inactivity by planning other things. It shortfuses sometimes, depending on the number of hours I've failed to recharge it, like when I spend the night before drinking and smoking with my officemates and supervisors. I try to assuage my boredom by answering 2-3 "Fun N' Easy" crossword puzzles in one sitting. And occasionally when I get hold of the rundown spreadsheet from the morning shift, I quickly browse through my horoscope (Aquarius), chuckle through the Dilbert comic strip and immediately try solving the newsday crossword. I tell ya, that thing's a b*tch. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes the clues are totally cryptic. But that's the challenge of it right?

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I don't lack contentment with the apartment I have right now, but my FLATMATE does. He, yes the guru, wants me to clean the common areas every week. It may be sweeping the floors, cleaning the water filter, dusting the jalousies, dusting the cupboards, scrubbing the mildew stains in the toilet, brushing off the stool dregs from the toilet slope, mopping the floors, and other whatnots. I understand the need to clean regularly but my god ... how clean is CLEAN?? I have to mop the floors with soap first, dry the floor, wash the mop (which is simply A PAIN IN THE *SS!!!), mop the floors with water, let 'em dry, then wash the mop again. Does it have to be this obsessive-compulsive??? Oh my god ... I can't breathe.

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And finally, with my crumpet ... I love the creature to bits, but I can't say I'm in love already. It's not that it's too early (nearly 2 months), but more so because I still don't get the general behavior. We don't get to talk often enough. Text messaging is hardly a substitute, though I am thankful I can unlimitxt fire away. It's just too ... calm. I'm starting to crave passion.

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But I try to be careful with what I wish for. I don't think I can handle it yet.

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